


Without You

by maybeawriter6



Category: LoliRock (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Culture Shock, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Iristio, Mephisto redemption, Season 2 spoilers, Siblings, Twin Swap AU, Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10754232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeawriter6/pseuds/maybeawriter6
Summary: After Praxina’s death in the final battle against Gramorr, a grief-stricken Mephisto helps to defeat him, earning him a full pardon as well as a new life at the castle.Iris deals with the pressure and culture shock that come with being a princess, while Mephisto, as the newest member of the royal guard, tries to put his broken heart back together and forget his dark past.If only Banes would leave him alone…





	1. The Final Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the familiar suddenly becomes unfamiliar, and the strings of Fate are cut a different way.

Mephisto felt the first stab of dread in his gut the moment Gramorr got his clawed hand on the final Oracle Gem. It solidified after Gramorr started ignoring them.

Praxina didn’t seem to get it. Or else she was _choosing_ not to get it. Trying desperately to hold onto the dream, trying to get Gramorr to include them in his plans. Pretending they were still relevant.

Mephisto sensed that ship had sailed. Also, when Gramorr said he would “enslave the entire planet,” wouldn't that include them?

A voice in his mind kept whispering, _get out of here, grab Praxina and get the heck out of here, run as far as you can, as far as you have to. Get away from him._

He would often look back on those moments and wish fervently that he'd listened to that voice.

But he didn't. Something held him in place. Maybe his shock and horror at the full scope of Gramorr’s plans had stunned him. Maybe he was a coward and his fear had frozen him. Maybe he was doomed to be always a follower, never a leader, and was stuck following Praxina’s lead until the end. He wasn't sure, but it didn't matter.

They stayed, and a horrible cold feeling spreading through his veins told him they would most likely end up paying dearly for it.

If only he'd braced himself. If only he'd been more observant. He should have been paying more attention.

His heart dropped as the rocks did. He instinctively shouted Praxina's name. She turned to look at him, oblivious to the danger.

Mephisto leaped towards her and instantly regretted it. He knew with sudden, crushing certainty that he should have teleported.

He didn't remember what happened next. There were rocks and dust and a wave of force that sent him rolling away. A shockwave travelled through the stone an instant later.

No.

When he looked up, there was a hole where Praxina had been standing.

 _No_.

Numb, Mephisto scrambled to the edge of the hole. Hoping, praying...

Praxina was falling, along with the rocks. She opened her eyes with effort and looked back up, just as the largest rock began to glow. Terror overtook her expression. She was too weak to teleport, and there was only a split second, it happened so fast-

The sound of the explosion tore through him, shattering his entire world. He felt as if he'd been stabbed directly in the heart.

“... _No,_ ” he whispered, his eyes huge and blank with shock.

Despair suddenly flooded him, a rush of soul-wracking pain. He wasn't even aware he was screaming until his throat began to ache. He didn't care. He would scream her name until the stars rang with it. Until the sky fell from the sound of it. Until the universe understood what exactly it had so offhandedly taken from him.

She was gone. His sister was gone.

The only person he cared about, the only family he had.

He'd die for her, kill for her, flatten mountains for her.

She was his everything.

His everything.

Gone.

The stone at the edge of the hole crumbled and gave out beneath him and he was falling.

He didn't care. It didn't matter. It couldn't matter. Nothing mattered. She was gone. Nothing mattered.

A small part of him actually hoped the fall would end this agony.

Iris was stunned and confused. What happened to Praxina? She’d been so focused on Gramorr... could she have hurt her without noticing? Was Mephisto ok? He was falling but... he could fly, right? Or teleport?

Gramorr didn’t allow her much time to speculate, redoubling his attack. Iris, caught off guard and overpowered, was beginning to falter. Gramorr was preparing a final attack, which was sure to be brutal.

A blinding green light distracted them all.

Mephisto was hovering, surrounded by magic. His expression was beyond livid, and his eyes glowed an unnatural poison green.

“ _YOU!_ ” shouted Mephisto, shaking with rage. “ _NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU!_ ”

He shot a massive beam of raw green magic at the combatants. Iris braced herself, but it wasn’t aimed at her.

The beam struck Gramorr with surprising force and precision.

The tyrant howled in pain and fury as he staggered a little. It was enough time for Iris to regain her footing. The other Princesses rushed forward to join her.

Gramorr turned his blazing eyes upon Mephisto. “ **_TRAITOR! You've cast your lot with them? Then you will share in their fate!_ ** ”

He shot a beam of magic at Mephisto. Even a tiny fraction of Gramorr’s current power was enough to break through a hastily summoned shield and send Mephisto flying into the mountainside.

His back collided hard with cold purple stone. It knocked the breath out of him so completely that he couldn't even cry out at the pain flooding him.

Mephisto blacked out and remembered nothing else.

 

* * *

 

After a relieved reunion and a moment of joy, Auriana was the one who remembered first.

“Wait... Where’s Mephisto?”

They found him on his hands and knees in the rubble. He was covered in dust and sobbing uncontrollably.

The princesses looked  at each other, sympathetic but awkward, unsure how to help him.

Iris, the most empathetic, went and knelt beside Mephisto. She gently laid a hand on his shaking back.

He shrank from her touch. “Get away,” he choked out. “Don’t... Don’t _touch_ me! It’s _your_ fault, too.”

Iris’ heart hurt to see him like this. “...You're right. I'm so sorry. I... didn't mean for it to happen.” Her voice broke. Guilt crashed into her chest as she processed everything. “...It... It was an accident...”

He knew that it was. He knew Iris felt terrible. That knowledge didn't make him feel as good as he'd expected it would. It just made him cry harder.

“...Thank you, Mephisto,” she said quietly.

That caught him off guard. He looked at her, sobs paused by surprise even as tears rolled freely down his dirty face.

“Without your help, we might not have defeated Gramorr.” She gave him a bittersweet smile. “You're a hero, Mephisto.”

He blinked. He'd never expected to hear his name and “hero” in the same sentence. It sounded weird.

Iris tentatively touched his back again. He let her.

“...She'd be so proud of you.” There were tears on her cheeks.

Mephisto stared at her for a few seconds, his eyes huge and overflowing with emotion. His face twisted as a fresh wave of grief overtook him.

He found himself in Iris’ arms, sobbing his broken heart out. She held his hunched form and mumbled comforting nothings to him through numb lips.

The rest of the Princesses grabbed each other’s hands for support, shedding tears themselves.

There was a moment of silence as a hushed shadow of mourning passed over their victory.


	2. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which second chances are offered, for better or for worse.

When they arrived back at the castle, they found all of Gramorr’s former prisoners already milling about the throne room, waiting. When the Princesses arrived, every eye lit up and the newly restored building was filled with cheers.

Ecstatic, the Princesses rushed to reunite with their loved ones.

Iris started to follow them, but hung back, looking over her shoulder. “...Mephisto?”

Mephisto was standing just outside the door, out of sight. “You should go on. I...” He looked away. “...I’m not welcome, here.”

Iris set her jaw in that stubborn way of hers and walked over to him with her arm outstretched. “Don’t be silly. Of course, you’re welcome.”

He looked at her incredulously, but eventually let her lead him into the room. He stayed several feet behind her as they entered, trying to hide behind her silhouette, but he knew he was all too visible.

The low rush of whispering rose around them, quiet at first but growing louder as more people saw him. Mephisto felt every alarmed and suspicious gaze like a burning spotlight on his skin. A deep blush began creeping up his neck and bloomed on his cheeks. He considered teleporting away.

“It’s all right!” Iris hurried to reassure them. “He’s a friend! He helped us defeat Gramorr!”

The whispers seemed placated and mostly faded away, replaced by a few moments of rather judgmental silence before the buzz of excited conversation resumed.

Mephisto and Iris both let out relieved breaths.

“Um... Thank you.” He shot her a grateful look. His cheeks were still glowing a dull red.

She smiled and then went to join the crowd. Mephisto followed, although he couldn't help but notice that people instinctively drew away from him. He decided to stand further off to the side and just watch.

Talia was talking to her sister, happier and more animated than Mephisto had ever seen her. Auriana was still hugging Jodan, which gave him a guilty twinge and he looked away. Carissa and Lyna were currently besieged by children. Apparently all the Princesses were popular with little ones.

A gasp went up and most of the room dropped to one knee. Iris looked around in confusion, then saw them.

Her parents had entered the room. The High Queen and King of Ephedia, their regal beauty none the worse for their long imprisonment.

Iris instantly teared up and ran to embrace them. The royal family was together again, the way they’d dreamed for so long. Iris drank in their faces and voices, unmarred by the veil of a Vocalextra, and for the first time could actually touch them. Her heart was so full of love she felt it might burst. She thought this might be what heaven is like.

Mephisto stared at them as one would an approaching lion, with a mixture of awe and terror. He realized with a horrified start that he was still standing.

Panicking, he knelt so fast that he banged his knee on the floor with a loud _thunk!_ He hissed under his breath at the throbbing ache in his kneecap and bowed his head, hoping to avoid the royals’ gaze.

Of course, he couldn’t be that lucky.

Iris felt her parents tense and looked at them in confusion. She turned and followed their gaze to Mephisto, who was bowing far deeper than anybody else, practically groveling.

“Is that not one of Gramorr’s servants?” the King asked her quietly, his expression guarded.

“...It’s okay,” Iris told them. “Mephisto’s a hero! He helped us.”

“He betrayed Gramorr?” Her mother evaluated Mephisto from where she stood.

The three of them were speaking in low voices most did not hear, but Mephisto was straining to listen from his place across the room. He actually managed to bow a little deeper than he already was.

It was very difficult to breathe in this position, bent almost to the floor with his knee digging into his torso, but it would be a whole lot harder to breathe if he couldn’t get into their Majesties’ good graces.

“Yes! You see, his sister...” Iris felt a stain of sorrow seep across her happiness. “...Praxina... She... died. During the battle.” The words felt wrong on her tongue, so very wrong.

Mephisto winced, tears blurring his view of the elaborate tiles beneath him. Hearing Iris say aloud the words he’d been trying not to even think... He hoped the Queen and King couldn’t see how bad he was shaking.

“Mephisto.” The Queen’s calm yet stern voice immediately silenced the room.

His heart leapt into his throat. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to bow more (could he even bow more? Was that physically possible?) or look up. Probably it would be ruder not to look.

Mephisto timidly raised his eyes and met the Queen’s gaze.

Dear heavens, she was as beautiful as the stories always said. He’d thought they were exaggerations, but in truth they were understatements. Power, grace and nobility radiated from her and the King.

“...Y-yes?” His voice shook badly. “Your... most royal, um, Majesty?”

She was staring coolly down at him. Oh gosh, this was it, wasn’t it? She was about to pass judgment on him. He swallowed hard.

“We wish to extend our condolences for the loss of your sister.”

He didn’t respond for several seconds, he was so surprised. He’d thought he was headed to the dungeon, at best.

“Th-thank you, your- um, your kind... goodness!” He really needed to work on this. He wasn’t used to addressing anybody but Gramorr this way.

The Queen and King smiled benevolently. For they _did_ see how much he was shaking, and their generous hearts went out to him.

“You are hereby given a full pardon for the crimes you committed under Gramorr’s command,” the Queen said. “You will also be rewarded for your assistance in the final battle.”

His gaze flickered to Iris, who was smiling excitedly at him. Reassured, he mustered a small one.

“I... thank you, your Grace. You are... most good and generous. But...” He took a deep, nervous breath. He was scared to push the situation, but needed to say it. “But I need no reward. I... only did it to avenge my sister. The pardon is reward enough, and, frankly, far more than I deserve.” He bowed his head, hoping desperately that the royals wouldn’t be offended.

It was in that moment that Iris understood exactly how profoundly he had changed. Mere hours ago, the most important thing in the world to Mephisto was the wealth and rank Gramorr had promised him. Now, he wouldn’t hear of it.

Perhaps because he’d realized he was mistaken. The most important thing was actually his sister, and she was lost to him. No amount of gold could ever fill that void.

The King closed the distance in two long strides, stopping just in front of Mephisto. “If you will not take gold, would you be more interested in a position as a royal guard?”

The crowd tensed at this. A few whispered their astonishment.

Mephisto looked up at him with a small gasp. “Me? Really?” His throat became tight with emotion. “...My parents were in the royal guard,” he said quietly.

The King’s smile widened. “...Yes, I _thought_ you looked familiar. Arcturus and Belladonna’s son. I remember your parents very well. They were excellent people and the loyalest of soldiers.” He reached his huge hand down towards Mephisto. “If you are half as good as they, we will need you. Gramorr has left quite the mess behind, after all.”

Mephisto looked up at him with tears in his eyes. Their goodness knew no bounds, it seemed. To think, he’d fought so long and hard to keep Gramorr in charge and them in the dungeon. The very thought made his face burn with shame.

He tentatively took the King’s hand. “...If you’re certain you want me, your Majesty.”

The King pulled the boy to his feet as if he weighed nothing. “Princess Iris seems to believe in you, and that is good enough for me.”

Mephisto looked over at Iris. She was still smiling, and he realized that nobody had ever smiled at him quite like that. Like she... trusted him, and even liked him. Like... he was a friend.

It made him want to earn that smile, to be actually worthy of the trust and friendship she gave so readily. Too readily, really. He didn't deserve it.

He was looking straight at her as he answered the King. “In that case, I’d be honored to serve you, your Highness.” He bowed at the waist.

Iris’s mind flashed to the golden afternoon when he’d first said those words. Her heart lurched in her chest, just as it had then.

The celebration continued well into the evening. Iris found there were a lot of people who wanted to meet her. She was thankful for her natural talent for remembering names and faces, or she would’ve been in trouble.

Mostly, though, she was hanging out with her friends and their families, as well as spending a lot of time getting to know her parents. Which was a little more awkward than she'd imagined.

“-And then there’s Nathaniel.” She felt a rush of giddy joy as the thought of her boyfriend. “He’s so great, you guys would love him! He’s smart, and kind, and thoughtful, and funny, and really caring...” She trailed off, blushing. “...I could go on and on. Anyway, he works at a local smoothie place after school and during summer. We hang out there a lot.”

The thought of not being able to see Nathaniel again anytime soon circled Iris’ thoughts, but she refused to give it any harbor. She could be sad, later. She’d waited too long for this.

Her parents looked like they were interested, of course, but also confused.

“He sounds lovely, Iris,” her mother said. “But, tell us, what is a ‘smooth ee’ place?”

“Yes,” he father added, “and why do you girls ‘hang out’ there? What do you hang from? Is it a training exercise?”

Iris blinked at them, then smiled. “...Have I mentioned in the last five minutes how happy I am to see you guys?” She grabbed their hands across the table. “I love you.”

Her parents beamed and replied that they loved her too. (Though, they still wondered about the benefits of smooth ee hanging.)

Her eyes wandered around the room and landed on a certain lonely boy, standing in the shadows and watching the crowd. She watched him wipe his face with the back of his hand.

Iris excused herself from her parents and went to talk to him. “Mephisto?”

He blinked at her, trying not to cry.

“...I'm sorry you have to watch us with our families. It must be hard.”

He sighed and nodded slightly. “Yeah, kinda...”

Iris looked down. “...I just want you to know that... I won’t if you don’t want me to, but I’d like to have a memorial built.”

“You’d do that?” He blinked at her again, surprised. “For Praxina? She hated you.”

“Maybe, but she was still...” She swallowed. “...I owe her that much, Mephisto.”

He shifted from one foot to the other. “Look, what I said about it being your fault-”

“No, you were right. I should have been more careful.” Her voice caught in her suddenly tight throat. “...I just... never thought I might hurt someone like that. I’m...” She stifled a sob and whispered, “... _I’m so sorry_...”

“N-no, you...” He wasn’t good at this. He didn’t know how to comfort people. “You did what you had to do, Princess. I’d have done the same in your place.”

Iris forced a tearful smile, but couldn’t get it to stay. “...You’re... way too forgiving, Mephisto...”

He held his breath to keep from laughing aloud at that. _He_ was too forgiving? As if he’d never tried to kill her, before. As if she didn’t have every reason in the world to hate him.

She cleared her throat and tried to collect herself. “...Do you want me to send someone to look for... Um...”

The unspoken concept of recovering Praxina’s remains hung in the air heavily.

Mephisto shut his eyes wearily. “...No, it’s... very kind, Your Highness, but...” He shook his head. “...There’s nothing to find. The explosion...” He winced at the unbidden memory.

Iris nodded numbly. “...Um, if you want to, you're welcome to go rest in any of the bedrooms, if you want to...” She looked down. “...Grieve in private?”

He sniffled once and shook his head. “Thank you, Iris- uh, Princess Iris. But... I'd really rather not be alone right now. If...” He cleared his throat. “If I could just... borrow some clothes and change? I... don't want to wear this.” He gestured distastefully at his clothes.

He couldn't bear to wear this uniform. Gramorr’s uniform. The one that matched his sister's. He could always glamour a different outfit onto himself, but... he'd _know._ He wanted the very fabric away from him.

Iris smiled sympathetically. “Of course, you can.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.” He tried to convey his massive amount of gratitude with those words. “If you'll excuse me, then?” He bowed at the waist, his eyes never leaving hers, and turned to leave.

Iris tried to justify the way her heart thumped when he looked at her like that. Nathaniel flashed into her head and she felt a stab of guilt.

She returned to her parents, happy for the distraction from her confused and irrational feelings.

 

* * *

 

Mephisto had no idea where he was going. He hadn't been in this part of the castle in years. Now that the halls were restored to their former state, he didn't even have dark crystal landmarks to recognize.

“Well, I'm completely lost.” He turned. “Prax, where...”

The empty space beside him felt like it punched him in the gut.

He leaned shakily against the wall as fresh tears flooded his eyes.

Mephisto had never been alone for this long, before. He and Praxina were never apart for more than a few hours, and even then she was always nearby. He was only just coming to the realization that he was truly alone, and would probably be alone quite often from now on.

He missed her so badly, already. He didn't know what to do on his own. He'd never made his own choices.

He was lost, in so many senses of the word.

Eventually, the wave of grief subsided enough that he was able to keep going. Unable to find his old room, he eventually chose one at random and stepped inside.

The room was smallish but still tastefully decorated. It was probably meant to host a low-ranking noble or high-ranking commoner. The castle’s restoration was thorough; the only thing that revealed the room’s former decay was the wilted state of the flowers occupying a vase.

Thankfully, Mephisto found that the clothes hung inside the wardrobe had been restored as well. They were very basic and versatile in nature, probably meant as emergency changes of clothes for guests. He found a dark, plain tunic and held it up to the thin beam of light filtering in from the door. It might be a little small, but it would fit well enough.

There was a stash of ornaments bearing the seals of the various kingdoms. He debated with himself over picking out an Ephidian one, but it seemed... wrong, considering he’d tried very hard to bring about the destruction of the kingdom a mere day ago. No, he’d wait until he was given his official garments for that.

The reason for choosing such dark clothes weighed heavily on him, and soon he was fretting over the teardrops soaking into his borrowed tunic. He hoped they wouldn't show once he was wearing it.

There was a _whoosh_ behind him, followed by a low growl. Mephisto froze, terror suddenly snatching him in freezing tendrils. He whipped around and found himself practically face-to-snout with Banes.

He made a strangled sound in his throat and jumped back, pressing himself against the wardrobe doors. The dark tunic fluttered to the floor, forgotten.

Banes flicked his firy tail and looked at him expectantly. His unsettlingly intelligent eyes glittered in the dim light, and his entire form radiated strength. He could take Mephisto out with one well-placed swipe, and they both knew it.

Mephisto tried to swallow, but found his mouth too dry. His heart was hammering to make up for skipping several beats in a row.

Finally, he managed to force words out, although his voice was a little too high and shaky. “...W-what do you want of me?!”

Banes, obviously, didn’t answer. Instead, he lowered his massive head and dropped something on the ground just in front of Mephisto.

Something gold and white and evil, so incredibly evil that the shadows were thicker where it lay, as if it were consuming the very light.

“...Gramorr’s mask?” Mephisto breathed in a mixture of fear, awe and confusion. “Why would you-” His eyes widened as he understood.

Banes was _offering_ it to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I removed the "platonic Iristo" tag. I can't fight the chemistry. It's out of my hands. They're gonna be shipped.  
> Don't worry about Nathaniel, though. I've got something in mind for him.


	3. Misplaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we shall see how much Iris' friendship really means to Mephisto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously this fic wouldn't be happening without Followmetoyourdoom and Margoteve supporting me, and especially Doom for beta-reading and suggestions and stuff! I love you guys! :D

Mephisto had been staring at the mask for the better part of five minutes. He was unable to move, unable to tear his eyes from it. The mask, or Banes, or _something,_ pulled at him. Whispered to him. Not with words, exactly, but with promises.

He was tempted. He was incredibly, overwhelmingly tempted. The mere thought of possessing so much power sent chills through his whole body.

He could finish what he’d started. Avenge his sister the way she’d _want_ to be avenged. The way she _deserved_ to be.

The world would rue the day she was taken from him.

So much magic. So much power. So close. His fingers twitched with the desire to reach for it.

The Princesses would suffer, as he was suffering.

Iris only _thought_ she was sorry. He would teach her the true meaning of the word.

A dark look, equal parts vengeance and greed, had come into his eyes. He knelt down and his hand slowly went out towards the mask, as if of its own accord.

The mask would grant him everything he’d ever wanted, and far more. Unlimited power, ultimate authority. More magic than he’d ever dreamed of having.

His hand shook with excitement, but he hesitated. Something deep inside him was resisting.

As if in response, images appeared in Mephisto’s mind.

He saw himself, wearing the mask and surrounded by an aura of green magic, so dark it was almost black.

Ephedia groveling at his feet, and Earth on the horizon.

The Princesses in his dungeon, lamenting their mistake for all eternity, as they very well _should._ Or maybe that was a kinder fate than they deserved.

Even a suggestion... Just the barest hint of a whisper... Of perhaps getting his sister back.

Tears pricked his eyes. Bitter tears. Angry tears. His expression hardened, teeth grit with sudden determination.

This was what she would have wanted.

Banes purred encouragingly, the stone floor vibrating with his approval.

Mephisto’s fingers hovered just an inch from the bone-white mask. The shadows reached towards him, like wicked vines attempting to ensnare his hand. He didn’t notice. He was too lightheaded with daydreams of supreme power.

No one would ever hurt him, again. No one would ever dare push him around. _He’d_ do the pushing, for a change.

A black smirk twisted his face. There was a maniacal, insane laugh building in his throat. His eyes were dark with evil thoughts, yet glowed with a spark of madness.

His gloved fingertip brushed the mask. A jolt of dark magic arced through him. Nothing could stop him, now! Nothing could-

Iris’ sweet, trusting smile suddenly flashed unbidden into Mephisto’s mind.

He jerked back a little, giving a strangled gasp. His evil expression faded.

Iris... had only been doing what she had to do to defeat Gramorr. He’d told her he’d have done the same in her position, and it was still true. Praxina’s death was an accident. A tragic accident that would probably haunt Iris for the rest of her life.

Besides, it wasn’t as if he and Praxina were innocent bystanders. It was as much his own fault as it was Iris’. A great deal more, in fact. Mephisto had played a vital role in bringing the final Oracle Gem to Gramorr. He’d thoughtlessly handed the tyrant the means to destroy the world. If he hadn't, if he'd given it to the Princesses, instead... Praxina would still be alive.

Mephisto choked on a sob, as his insides churned with self loathing and guilt. It was _his_ actions that caused this. Not Iris’.

The purr shifted into more of a growl as he hesitated.

Mephisto thought, miserably, about how incredibly good Iris and her parents had been to him, in the aftermath.

They had no reason to trust him. They didn't need to pardon him. It didn’t make sense to be so kind to him. He _should_ be rotting in the dungeon. Or worse. Instead, they were willing to take him in. Make him a guard. Entrust him with their safety.

Mephisto would be following in his parents’ footsteps. He... _liked_ that idea. A lot. It felt... good. Right. Like it was what he was meant to do.

There was a life for him, here. Praxina would have disapproved, he knew, but... Mephisto had lived his entire life in her shadow. Maybe it was time he started thinking about what _he_ wanted, for a change.

With effort, he ripped his eyes away from the mask. He looked at Banes, instead.

There was always something... strange, about Banes. Something unsettling. Something that Praxina never seemed to notice. But Mephisto had. He’d always treated the cat with a healthy respect, because he sensed an uncanny level of intelligence in those demonic eyes.

He had also noticed the way Gramorr spoke to him. The way he placated him when things went wrong. As if the cat were his equal. A very powerful equal.

Perhaps, even, a superior.

Now, Banes was offering Gramorr’s power to him, while Gramorr himself hadn’t even been gone a day.

Mephisto climbed to his feet, shaking his head.

“...No.” He surprised himself with his own firmness. “No! I won’t take it! I want no part of this!”

Banes’ ears went back and his eyes narrowed.

“I...” Mephisto swallowed. “I want a life without... revenge, or madness, or this... this _poison!_ This is the kind of... toxic magic that...”

He stomped his foot, anger coursing through him. “ _This_ is what killed my sister!” he snapped. “Not the Princesses! Not Iris! Gramorr! And dark magic! And _you!_ ”

The growl was getting louder and more menacing, vibrating in Mephisto’s chest. It only strengthened his resolve.

“You want me to be your puppet, like Gramorr was!” His brow furrowed as connections snapped into place. “He was a pawn! A face to wear the mask! I want _nothing_ to do with you! Or with _this_ thing!” He kicked the mask across the floor.

It skidded to a stop just in front of Banes. The massive cat looked at it, then raised his head. His glowing eyes pierced through Mephisto.

His surge of courage starting to wane, Mephisto took a step back and felt the familiar tingle of mortal terror seeping up his arms.

Banes snarled, baring knife-sharp crystal fangs. The sound, along with the sight of the fangs, made Mephisto dizzy with fright.

Then, as suddenly as he’d appeared, Banes teleported and was gone.

Mephisto leaned against the wardrobe, panting as he slid down into a sitting position. His heart fluttered against his ribcage like a crazed bird and he was shaking.

But he was free.

He gave a half-hysterical laugh. He'd stood up to Banes and survived. He’d been faced with overwhelming temptation and denied it.

He desperately wished Praxina could have seen him do it.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t imagine what the King was thinking!” Talia reached across the table for a roll. “No offence, Iris.”

Iris shrugged. “He’s changed, Talia! Couldn’t you tell?”

Talia shook her head incredulously. “Making Mephisto a royal guard is like welcoming a snake into your bed! Iris, he’s a bad person!” She paused to regain her composure. “...Even if we ignore the evil things he’s done in the past, he’s been saturated with dark crystal magic for years. He must be irreparably corrupted, by now. It’s only a matter of time before he turns on you.”

Auriana nodded reluctantly. “She’s got a point, Iris. Dark magic messes with your head. He might not be able to help it.”

“He doesn’t deserve your trust,” Talia concluded.

Iris’ cheeks were tinted red, but she stared at her hands and phrased her retort carefully. “...Talia. Do you remember what you told us, about how much you changed when you thought your sister was gone?”

Talia froze, her fork halfway to her mouth.

Auriana gasped. “Iris!”

Iris hurried on to her point. “...You... resolved to be more responsible, to take things more seriously. You turned your whole life around.” She met Talia’s gaze. “...Mephisto just lost _his_ sister. Isn’t it possible that _he_ can change, too?”

Talia stared at her for several seconds, then lowered her fork with a sigh. “...I just hope your parents know what they’re doing. That _you_ do.”

Iris smiled, relieved, then turned her attention to her food.

“...You'll be great at this, Iris.” Auriana beamed proudly.

“Great at what?” She wasn't listening. She was busy studying her plate, trying to figure out what she was eating.

A scoop of small green vegetables, a pile of what looked a little like rice, and a... mystery calzone was the only way she could think to describe the main dish of this course.

They’d already eaten an appetizer, something with a long name she hadn’t caught, but that basically amounted to small bowls of Jello that tasted like a cross between an orange and a watermelon.

She’d really liked those, but they were gone too fast and now she was left to pick curiously at this unknown entrée.

“You know,” Auriana flapped her hand as if trying to pin down the words she sought. “...General princess stuff!”

“Um...” Iris sliced the calzone-looking thing with her fork. Orange sauce oozed out. She couldn’t decide if it looked appetizing or disgusting. The smell was completely unfamiliar, and hard to describe. “...What do you mean, exactly?”

“I believe Auriana is referring to your skills in diplomacy,” Talia said.

Iris frowned in confusion, taking a small experimental taste of the orange sauce. “Why, is something wrong-” Her eyes went wide and she cupped a hand over her mouth.

“Iris?” Both her friends leaned towards her in concern.

“Hot,” she managed, red in the face.

“Where?” Auriana looked over her shoulder, scanning for the attractive man she assumed Iris had seen.

She shook her head frantically. “No! The food!” Her tongue felt it was being simultaneously frostbitten and scorched. The flavor wasn't like any spice she'd ever tasted, but whatever it was, there was way too much of it.

Iris reached for her drink and chugged the chilled beverage, trying to preserve some level of decorum as she did so. The sweet, slightly viscous liquid soothed her taste buds and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Talia and Auriana shot each other confused looks.

“Um, Iris...” Auriana was trying not to laugh. “There's nothing really spicy in this course.”

“Maybe _somebody's_ trying to poison you!” Talia narrowed her eyes and searched for the purple-haired target of her pointed words.

Iris, meanwhile was staring at them both in horror. “...You're telling me _this_ isn't spicy?!” She gestured to the calzone-shaped traitor with disgust.

“Of course not!” Auriana pointed to her own plate. “This is just a mala roll. It's savory, maybe, but it's not _spicy._ My little sisters love these!”

“More like _martyr_ roll...” Iris eyed it with contempt.

Talia started to say something, but cut herself off to glare across the dining hall. “...There he is. Took him long enough to ‘change his clothes.’”

Iris turned to see Mephisto standing awkwardly near the doorway. The unadorned dark tunic made him look pale and fragile, compared to his usual evil regalia. He had also found ordinary shoes and was without his gloves or cape.

Mephisto felt like a misplaced sock; lonely, useless and lost on his own. He wasn't sure where he was supposed to sit. He decided it was safest to just stand against the wall, out of everybody's way. A servant, waiting nearby for orders, gave him a distrustful look and moved away from him.

 _You don't belong here,_ hissed a voice in his head. He mentally shushed it.

He'd decided not to mention Banes’ little visit to anyone. The last thing he needed was to give them more reason to be suspicious of him. Besides, nothing happened. He was gone, now.

Iris watched him for a moment with pain in her chest.

“...It wasn't your fault, Iris,” Auriana said quietly, as if reading her mind.

She turned to them with a sad smile. “No?”

Talia reached across and touched her hand. “It wasn't. Don't blame yourself for something you didn't do. Trust me on this one.”

Iris forced herself to look happier. “You're right.” She didn't sound convinced. “Thanks, guys.” She looked at her food again, wondering of any of it was actually edible. Especially with so little appetite.

Unfortunately, Iris soon discovered, the particular flavor she so disliked was exceedingly popular in Ephedian cooking.

“It must be the ximin,” Talia said, after Iris was forced to send the third course back uneaten. “That's the only spice in common between all these dishes.”

Iris was busy gulping her drink and had to wait a moment to reply. “‘Ximin?’”

“It's a spice native to Ephedia. Very common in most of the planet's cuisine.”

“But ximin isn't _that_ hot,” Auriana said.

Talia nodded. “Not to us, maybe. We've eaten it all our lives. But do you remember how long it took us to get used to Earth’s black pepper?”

“Ooooooh, right. I forgot. It was almost two months before we could eat at a restaurant. We had to make our own food, without so much pepper.”

“Right, because we weren't used to it. Just like Iris isn't used to ximin.”

“So... I'm not gonna be able to eat for two months?” Iris asked nervously.

Talia looked at her apologetically. “...Maybe? Maybe not, though. You might get used to it faster.”

“I'm sure they could leave it out, if you ask,” Auriana added. “...It might be kinda bland without it, though. Nobody puts ximin in desserts, at least, so you'd be good.”

“She can't live on desserts, Auriana.”

Iris sighed. She'd have to eat the spice, to get used to it, but her mouth violently rebelled at the slightest taste of it on her tongue.

Suddenly, she found herself craving a plain old cheeseburger. And maybe a smoothie. Which in turn reminded her of Nathaniel and her heart gave a painful little twist.

“Iris?” Auriana's voice broke into her thoughts. “You ok?”

Iris quickly bottled her feelings and looked up. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, it's nothing. Just thinking. What was that you guys were saying? Something about diplomacy and princess stuff?”

“Oh, just that you’ll be good at it.” Auriana shrugged cheerfully.

“Is something going on that I’ll need diplomacy for?”

Talia tilted her head to the side. “Well, things might be a little tense for a while, politically speaking. The kingdoms have all suffered from Gramorr’s rule, and many of them currently lie in ruins. Especially Xeris, Volta, Borealis and Ephedia. This castle is the only one of those four that Gramorr left standing, since he desired it for his own. It’ll take time to fix everything he broke.”

Iris nodded. “Sure, but... what does that have to do with-” It finally clicked. Her eyes widened. “...Oh. Because I’m... I’m the Princess of Ephedia.”

Somehow, it was easy to ignore the full weight of her title back on Earth. The only people who’d called her “Princess” were the twins, and even then only in mocking tones. When the girls spoke of their rank amongst themselves, it was deceptively casual, and usually in the context of magic.

Iris hadn’t thought about what it really meant. She hadn’t considered the responsibilities she was about to shoulder. How incredibly, drastically different her life was going to be.

The fourth (and equally spicy) course was being whisked away before she found her voice again. “So... What am I going to have to do? Exactly?”

It hit Talia and Auriana rather suddenly that they hadn’t prepared her for this.

“...Um...” Auriana shifted awkwardly in her chair. “...You’ll have to attend court, for one thing. It’s important for a Crown Princess to listen and contribute. Even if it _is_ a huuuge drag- Ow!” she rubbed her arm where Talia had elbowed her.

“Your parents will have a better idea of your duties, Iris,” Talia said. “We’re not Crown Princesses, and definitely not the High one of Ephedia. We’d only be guessing.”

Iris swallowed. “...It’s fine. Sounds like I’m gonna be pretty busy, though.”

The final course was a godsend, as far as Iris was concerned. Just a very plain iced cake, not much different than the kind she was used to. It had the same subtle flavor as the beverage they’d been drinking. Auriana had told her it was the nectar of a large Ephedian flower, and Iris actually liked the taste a lot. Her slice, while fairly generous, was gone far too quickly.

After the dinner, the crowd moved into a ballroom adjacent to the dining hall. Iris bounced back and forth between her parents and her friends, who were catching up with their families.

Mephisto stayed firmly in the shadows and watched. There was no one present who would relish his conversation, after all. Except, perhaps, Iris and her parents. They might tolerate him, and there were questions he wanted to ask. Things about his parents, about Gramorr, about his new duties. But he didn't dare approach them.

“Ugh! You coward!”

He opened his mouth to tell Praxina to shut up, then remembered. The voice had been a mere echo, his brain supplying what she might say.

Still, he was desperate and lonely enough to let it continue.

“This place looked better before,” she might say. “Before all these snobs moved back in.” He could picture her, flipping her hair and scoffing at the assembled nobles.

She might snark about the crowd some more, complain about the food, criticise his outfit. For a moment, he almost felt she was still with him.

Then he blinked, bringing the image of her falling before his eyes. His imaginary Praxina vanished and he was left feeling sick and shaky.

The Princesses looked so happy with their families. Auriana was surrounded by a pile of sisters, Jodan at her shoulder. Talia had her arm linked with Izira’s and showed no sign of releasing her. Lyna laughed while relating her adventures to her horrified governess. Carissa was talking to her brothers over a magical communicator. And Iris, of course, was never far from her parents’ side, and she kept Ellira close.

Mephisto... was glad for the Princesses. Really. They'd never looked truly whole or happy until today. It was partly his fault that they had all been apart so long. He didn't intend to begrudge them their joy, now.

But it hurt. It hurt like a hundred little stabbing wounds. Because he was never going to have a reunion like that with Praxina. Or his parents, for that matter. They were gone. Forever. He was left behind to grieve. To shoulder this agony alone. The Princesses were inadvertently stepping on the shattered pieces of his heart, crushing them further.

Despite what he’d said earlier about not wanting to be alone, he couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t bear it.

Mephisto edged away and slipped out a door. The movement caught Iris’ eye.

“Where do you suppose he’s going?” she asked Auriana.

“I guess he wants some air?” Auriana shrugged. She glanced warily at her sisters, for fear of being drawn back into the adoring swarm, but they seemed to be distracted.

Iris was shaking her head. “He said he didn’t want to be alone.” Something felt wrong. “...I’m going to go see if he’s alright.”

She had only taken a few steps when her father’s voice reached her. She turned and saw that her parents were looking at her as if they wanted her to join them.

She sighed quickly. “...I’ve got to go. Auriana, please, go check on him.”

“What?” Auriana blinked at her. “Iris, it’s Mephisto, I’m sure he’s-”

“Please?”  Iris’ eye were huge and pleading. “I’m worried about him! Just... see if he’s okay?”

Auriana couldn’t argue with those eyes. “...Okay, fine, I’ll go.”

“Thanks, Auriana! It means a lot to me!”

Iris made her way towards her parents. Auriana narrowed her eyes thoughtfully as she watched her go.

She was wondering why exactly Iris cared so much, and she had the flimsy beginnings of a theory. A ridiculous theory, but a theory just the same.

 

* * *

 

 

The courtyard was bathed in the warm glow of sunset. The restoration magic couldn't save the plants or flowers, but everything else was back to its former glory. Pink stone paths and low walls led to a series of raised daises, some with benches. On the far side of the courtyard was a massive yet intricately detailed fountain, long-since run dry but fully repaired. There was a stately sort of freedom to the space. A sense of relaxation, of refuge from the everyday stresses of castle life.

Mephisto couldn't help preferring it to the grotesque dark crystal formations that had previously speared the area and cast threatening shadows across the decaying lawn.

Praxina had always liked them, though.

He leaned on a pink stone railing and gazed over the courtyard with tears welling up in his eyes.

Everything reminded him of her. Every new thing he saw. Every thought that came into his head. She was etched too deeply on his soul to forget her.

He sobbed quietly, his face the very portrait of grief. He felt as if a glass-sharp crystal shard were embedded in his heart, and it kept twisting itself deeper.

Someone gently prodded his arm with a finger. “Mephisto?”

He jerked away in surprise and turned. “Auriana?” He swallowed. “What are you doing here?”

Auriana was gazing at him with sympathy and pain in her eyes. “...Iris sent me to see if you were okay.”

“...Ah.” He sniffed and tried to compose himself. “She did? That was, um, kind of her.”

He was obviously tense and awkward, so Auriana shifted a step away so as not to crowd him. “...So, are you?”

“...Am I what?”

“Are you okay?”

He scoffed and a sneer crossed his face. “No, of course I’m not. Who _would_ be?”

She turned to look ahead, her cheeks burning pink with shame. His face softened. That was unfair. Just once, it’d be nice not to cause pain to everybody around him.

“...I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking through the courtyard rather than at it. “I shouldn’t have snapped.”

“No, it’s ok,” she told him. “...I... can kinda imagine what you’re going through.”

He indulged a bitter train of thought about how she could never imagine what he was going through, that nobody could, until he suddenly remembered.

“...Because of Jodan?” he ventured.

Auriana nodded, looking sadder than he'd ever seen her. “...I... thought I’d lost him, until he got a message through to me. I have a lot of siblings, but... he’s my big brother. He’s extra special to me. After everything that happened, he's lucky to be alive.”

Mephisto hung his head and sighed. “That was our fault. Praxina and I, well... We were excited to have an underling. Somebody to push around and punish and...” He squeezed his eyes shut. “...I’m so ashamed of how we treated him. I’m sorry, Auriana.”

Auriana thought about this in silence for a long time. “...It wasn’t really your fault, Mephisto. It was more Gramorr’s fault.”

He didn’t respond to that, partly because he disagreed, and partly because now he was wondering exactly how many of Gramorr’s actions were actually Banes’ doing.

After a few moments of awkward silence, he finally managed to ask, “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Live without your siblings for so long.” He looked at her, desperation and panic waring in his eyes. “You went from having a ton of family to having nobody! How did you ever cope with that?”

Auriana bit her lip. “...I didn’t, really. I sorta... ignored it, as much as I could... Then I made friends with Talia, and then Iris later, and they were like sisters, and that helped a lot.”

“But didn't you feel empty?” Mephisto leaned on the railing again. “Like... half of you was torn out?”

“...A little,” she said gently, “but then again, I don't know how it feels to lose a twin.”

“I'm _nothing_ without her, Auriana! I'm just a- a shell!” Despite his efforts to stem them, tears rolled down his face. His voice became choked. “...I just... I need her. I don’t... know what I'm gonna do, without her...” A sob forced its way out of him.

Auriana, uncertain how to help, touched his shoulder comfortingly. He flinched instinctively for a moment, then relaxed. He leaned into the touch, savoring the contact.

She swallowed hard, realizing how touch-starved Mephisto must be. They'd only seen Praxina touch him every once in a great while. Not a big hugger, Praxina.

She felt so bad for him that she ended up holding his back as he sobbed. Words couldn't begin to express how grateful he was for the touch and the comfort.

Once he began to regain his composure, he suddenly laughed through his tears. “It's... kinda funny. I've cried in the arms of two Princesses today, and just this morning, I was trying to destroy you.”

Auriana moved back to the railing. “Well, this morning, we'd never have _let_ you cry in our arms. But things are different, now.”

 He nodded, frowning thoughtfully. “...Are we... friends?” The word felt strange on his tongue.

She was taken aback but considered the question seriously. “...I think... maybe we could be, yes.” She smiled. “I think Iris already thinks of you as one.”

He colored slightly and looked away. “...Yeah, I guess she does.”

Auriana took a deep breath. There was something bothering her about that. “...You know, Mephisto... Iris trusts you.”

“I know she does,” he said quietly. “I can't imagine why.”

She hesitated. “...I just don't want to see her hurt. She gives her kindness so easily. Don't, you know, take advantage of that. Of her. Okay?”

He thought about this. “...I know my word probably doesn't mean much.” He looked her square in the eye. “But I promise that I have no intention of hurting her. Ever.”

His eyes and voice were so earnest that Auriana found herself believing him.

“Okay, good.” She smiled.

Mephisto had just mustered his own small smile in response, when something moving in the courtyard caught his eye. He froze, suddenly tense.

Auriana looked over her shoulder. “What's wrong?”

He stared for a few seconds, then shook his head. “N-nothing. Just... I don't like the dark very much. I didn't realize how late it was getting. We should go back inside.”

Auriana looked between him and the growing darkness in confusion. “Um, okay?”

He kept glancing around as they made their way back to the party. Auriana knew he wasn't exactly comfortable in dark and unfamiliar settings. He never had been. But she couldn't help thinking he looked very pale.

Mephisto was probably just being paranoid. He scolded himself for being so easily spooked.

Still, he could’ve sworn he'd seen a flash of a fiery black-red tail vanishing into the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad song recs?  
> Sad song recs!
> 
> Without You - David Guetta  
> and  
> Sad Song - We the Kings
> 
> (I've got a ton more :3 But those two are hands-down the most important.)


End file.
